Betrayal Is Cruel

Psalm 86:5 (NIV)  "O Lord, you are so good, so ready to forgive, so full of unfailing love for all who ask your aid."

I have had several major occasions in my life where I was badly wounded, not physically, but emotionally.  Each one of them involved someone that I had given my friendship and trust to.  Betrayal is a cruel thing.  It is what Jesus experienced with Judas.  Someone He had shared His heart with, gave all of His love to, entrusted His very life and gifts with betrayed Him, much worse than any betrayal that I've experienced, he betrayed Him to a torturous death.  As with the people who betrayed me, I'm sure there was genuine love and friendship in the beginning, but somewhere something took a sour turn and the love once felt turned to hate and resentment.  In my case, I may have even been the cause, maybe somehow or some way I hurt them and so they in turn set out to hurt me, but in Jesus' case, that wasn't true.  He was without wrong, without sin, without offense, but yet Judas' heart turned against him.

Reading this verse "O Lord, you are so good, so ready to forgive" brought these memories back to me of not being willing to forgive people who wronged me.  I must even confess that I entertained thoughts and maybe even dabbled with actions of revenge.  Even after being able to forgive to some level, I still battled with any desire to come to their aid if they should need it.  It took a process of prayer, time and more prayer for me to forgive and be able to stop replaying the hurtful deeds they had done over and over in my head.

I'm telling all of this to point out the difference between us and God.  He is so good, so ready to forgive, so full of unfailing love for all who ask for His aid, even though we have repeatedly shunned Him, rejected Him, cursed Him, blamed Him, hated Him, despised Him and hurt Him.  I am overwhelmed in my heart by His great love and pray that He will help me live in His love at all times.